I love you.

I’m quite fond of tattoos, but I’ve never had the guts to get one. I have a couple of ideas of some ink I’d like to get, but it’s just so permanent you know?

Then, you walk up with your bright colors, your easy, quick, and painless application, and your incredibly classic and cliche designs, and my heart melts. I can slap you on in thirty seconds, and if applied carefully, you’ll be there for days. It’s like having a real tattoo! The regular passerby wouldn’t even notice the difference. I can live out my fantasies of being an illustrated man without having to deal with the pain of application or worrying whether or not I’ll hate my new colorful skin years from now.

You know that guy from Evil Dead with the chainsaw for a hand? 3kalb is the kind of guy who would have something like that and maaaybe every once and a while use it to like, chop up a bad guy, but mostly, he would just be using it for everyday things. I can see him with a chainsaw hand, counting back your cash at the bank or like, typing in an office. People would tell him, “3kalb, why don’t you just get that chainsaw removed or something?” He would just say, “What? This is my hand.” And that, friends, is 3kalb. He blogs at Error 204.