Category Archives: Hate

Dear Alarmist Weathermen,

Posted on Friday, October 22, 2010 by

Everyone was saying that this storm system that’s moving through the Midwest was going to be big. Really big. Broadcast repeatedly were pictures from the Plains States of general carnage caused by the ice and snow that would surely be our doom. … Continue reading →

Posted in Hate | 17 Comments

Dear Toothpaste Companies,

Posted on Friday, October 15, 2010 by

I’d like to know where you get off. For a product which your consumers are asked politely not to eat and in fact, spit out of their mouths, toothpaste is expensive. And I would consider it far from a luxury … Continue reading →

Posted in Hate | 20 Comments

Dear Tall Guys Who Appear To Only Date Girls Who Are Very Short,

Posted on Friday, October 1, 2010 by

I alluded to your type before. I know you’re out there. I’ve seen you around. You’re 6’4″ and your girlfriend is 5’2″. She comes up to about your wrist. And it makes me fucking crazy. Not only do I seethe … Continue reading →

Posted in Hate, Wish In One Hand, Crap In The Other | 95 Comments

Dear Disconcerting Lack Of Internet,

Posted on Friday, September 24, 2010 by

I don’t ask much from you, Internet Service Provider. It’s simple, really. I want constant connectivity, pages that download before I hit menopause and no pop-ups. No pop-ups! I don’t think it’s too much to ask. This being said, when checking my … Continue reading →

Posted in Hate | 3 Comments

Dear Green Day’s Musical “American Idiot”,

Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 by

I was never as big of a fan of Green Day as many people my age. Most friends I know claim their first CD purchase as Dookie. Mine was Weezer’s blue album (I will also admit under duress that I received … Continue reading →

Posted in Confirmed Music Elitist, Hate, I Grew Up In New Jersey | 4 Comments