Monthly Archives: September 2010

Dear Disconcerting Lack Of Internet,

I don’t ask much from you, Internet Service Provider. It’s simple, really. I want constant connectivity, pages that download before I hit menopause and no pop-ups. No pop-ups! I don’t think it’s too much to ask. This being said, when checking my … Continue reading

Posted in Hate | 3 Comments

Dear Poor Souls Who Will Never Experience The Dismemberment Plan’s “Ice of Boston” Live On The Hottest Day Ever,

You don’t have to like my taste in music. That’s kind of why it’s mine. And sometimes my taste sways between absolute garbage (like pop music) and the kind of thing that makes your brain dribble out of your head (like The Dismemberment … Continue reading

Posted in Confirmed Music Elitist, Love | 4 Comments

Dear Green Day’s Musical “American Idiot”,

I was never as big of a fan of Green Day as many people my age. Most friends I know claim their first CD purchase as Dookie. Mine was Weezer’s blue album (I will also admit under duress that I received … Continue reading

Posted in Confirmed Music Elitist, Hate, I Grew Up In New Jersey | 4 Comments

Dear Guy Who Broke My Car Door,

It was always such a shame that when you broke my car door, I was your friend on Facebook. This irritated me to no end because I had all of this rage bottled up inside and I could simply not … Continue reading

Posted in Hate, Wish In One Hand, Crap In The Other | Leave a comment

Dear Guys Who Marry Dowdy Girls,

I’m not sure if you had the picture of your perfect woman in your head when you were a little boy. I know that sometimes the ideal and the real don’t meet. Believe me. I also know that people tend … Continue reading

Posted in Favorites, Hate, Wish In One Hand, Crap In The Other | 13 Comments