Category Archives: Hate

Dear Alarmist Weathermen,

Everyone was saying that this storm system that’s moving through the Midwest was going to be big. Really big. Broadcast repeatedly were pictures from the Plains States of general carnage caused by the ice and snow that would surely be our doom. … Continue reading

Posted in Hate | 17 Comments

Dear Toothpaste Companies,

I’d like to know where you get off. For a product which your consumers are asked politely not to eat and in fact, spit out of their mouths, toothpaste is expensive. And I would consider it far from a luxury … Continue reading

Posted in Hate | 20 Comments

Dear Tall Guys Who Appear To Only Date Girls Who Are Very Short,

I alluded to your type before. I know you’re out there. I’ve seen you around. You’re 6’4″ and your girlfriend is 5’2″. She comes up to about your wrist. And it makes me fucking crazy. Not only do I seethe … Continue reading

Posted in Hate, Wish In One Hand, Crap In The Other | 95 Comments

Dear Disconcerting Lack Of Internet,

I don’t ask much from you, Internet Service Provider. It’s simple, really. I want constant connectivity, pages that download before I hit menopause and no pop-ups. No pop-ups! I don’t think it’s too much to ask. This being said, when checking my … Continue reading

Posted in Hate | 3 Comments

Dear Green Day’s Musical “American Idiot”,

I was never as big of a fan of Green Day as many people my age. Most friends I know claim their first CD purchase as Dookie. Mine was Weezer’s blue album (I will also admit under duress that I received … Continue reading

Posted in Confirmed Music Elitist, Hate, I Grew Up In New Jersey | 4 Comments