I’d like to know where you get off. For a product which your consumers are asked politely not to eat and in fact, spit out of their mouths, toothpaste is expensive. And I would consider it far from a luxury item. Far from.
Exactly how much dough to you rake in on this racket? Because that’s what it is. A complete racket. Like, a shake down. Everyday you’re asking consumers: You want to have teeth in your head? Look like normal people? Have breath that’s delicately minty and not a concealed weapon? Pay up, suckers.
How can you sleep on your Egyptian cotton sheets in your mansions at night knowing you just charged people $3.59 for a tube of toothpaste? $3.59! That’s only about a dollar away from a pack of cigarettes! And to boot, your product claims are almost never true. You feed the consumers so much bullshit about whitening and cavity prevention and magic and unicorns and Jesus-is-coming and we keep buying this shit – because to be socially acceptable (at least in most locales) we have to! In the grand hierachy of rip-offs you are definetly third; there’s the diet industry, the bridal industry and you, toothpaste companies.
I think you should give toothpaste away for free, as a public service. And not just at the dentist’s office, nice try asshole, we already get floss. You should be required toothpaste away the way they give away condoms for free at Student Health Centers. Because, really, without the toothpaste, who is going to need the condoms? It’s the chicken and the egg fellas, better wise up.